Masscrastination

No more dry eyes in Boston

Greetings fellow minions:

It’s been a pretty interesting week for Boston sports.  Ortiz is hitting a whopping .219 and now up to 7 homers this year which puts him on pace for .314 and 17 home runs.  Watch out now.  And we finally get to say sayonara to Dice K.  I mean, I’m not sure how we’re going to survive without his 1-5 record and 8.23 era.  Last year he was the best 5 inning pitcher in baseball, now he’s just the worst 4 inning pitcher in baseball.  Who could possibly fill the giant (men’s size 6) shoes that he is leaving behind?  None other than a 42 year old John Smoltz.  I’ll take my chances with the former Cy Young winner.  And now for some reason (I’m not buying the “chemistry” explanation), Danny Ainge is trying to trade our 23 year old point guard who just averaged almost 17 points, 10 assists and 10 rebounds a game in the playoffs in just his third year.  Sorry I don’t think getting Mike Conley (the rich man’s Sebastian Telfair) to replace Rondo is worth it.

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Also, who do you think you are ESPN Insider?  How dare you try and charge me for the best information that your website provides?  Every piece of NFL and NBA draft buzz is blocked by the dreaded “To continue reading this article you must be an Insider”.  There’s nothing more demoralizing than getting all excited about a mock draft, and you only get to see the obvious top 5 picks without being in that “exclusive” club.  I don’t want to spend money to become an Insider. I’m sorry I’m not sorry.  You get to read some good articles, but only for about 3-4 weeks a year.  Then they try and sell you with a subscription to ESPN the magazine.  Sorry, not buying.  This then forces me to look elsewhere on the internet to find the scoop and I end up checking other pages (such as sportsinformant.com and collegehoopsnet.com!) to find my desired information.  I can’t be the only person that is a loyal ESPN reader that is forced to find my information regarding the draft elsewhere.  I hope Andy Katz and Chad Ford get some other form of compensation from ESPN besides a percentage from  the 700 people that have actually paid to become Insiders.

Anyway, I will also be joining my esteemed colleague tonight at the white supremacist rally.  I don’t know what it is about people and getting jobs or turning 24, but they feel the need to compete in these types of road race things.  It’s one thing if you are doing it to raise money for a cause, but if you are just doing it for a few free drinks afterwards, is it really worth it?  Mind you, I’m being totally hypocritical and running in this event myself.  Am I excited to run 3.5 miles for no prize/reward whatsoever?  No.  Am I excited that my company isn’t even taking care of our tab after the race?  No.  Am I excited to show coworkers how grossly out of shape I am?  No.  Am I excited for the false sense of accomplishment that is supposed to accompany the race?  No.  Am I excited to hang out after the race with thousands of smelly sweaty people in a super crowded bar?  Nope.  I’ll tell you what I am excited for: my coupon to City Sports for 20% off any Adidas non-sale item.

-Pat