Masscrastination

The Red Sox finally cut the 87-pound growth off their ass. Julio “Cup-Grab” Lugo has been designated for assignment. What does that mean? The Red Sox have 10 days to trade him elsewhere or they have to put him down at the Vet like Marley.

Cant say I didn’t see this coming. I smelt something fishy when they stopped playing him when he was Red Hot in that Phillies series. They must have said, “Hey, his average is over .280 now…we’re playing with house money…grab some pine.”

While  July 17th will forever be remembered as “Julio Lugo Independence Day,” one person who will not be observing the holiday is Theo Epstein. There is not just egg on his face, but something bigger and grosser. Like a dinosaur egg. Seriously what a horrible signing. And for $10 Million a year! Lets count the ways we can spend $10 million better than on Julio Lugo:

1. Give it to Al Qaeda.

2. Jo-Bro’s Tickets. Front fucking center.

3. Buyout Nickelback’s contract and catalog from Atlantic Records and destroy all evidence.

4. Bribe Webster Dictionary to include “Dramasticly” and “Inspectigate” in their next edition. (It’s ridiculous that those are not recognized words).

5. Wear new pairs of socks everyday forever.

To sum up the Julio Lugo era to an outsider, i’ll say this to you:

I hope you have sons. Beautiful, handsome boys. Articulate, educated, and athletic. And I hope they have their legs taken from them, so you can know what this pain is like.

Keep on bobblin' on

-Casey